Chopping It Up

Prime Cuts: Something Is Very Wrong in Widow's Bay

The crew couldn't resist the hype — this week on Prime Cuts, Jesse, Jeannie, Joel, and Sledd dive into Widow's Bay, the new Apple TV+ horror comedy series from Parks and Rec creator Katie Dippold. A cursed New England island, a hapless mayor, folklore that turns out to be terrifyingly real, and commercials that will genuinely unsettle you — it's a lot. Jesse's all in, Jeannie's calling it horror comedy (not comedy horror, there's a difference), Joel's hoping it gets the Penny Dreadful treatment, and Sledd gives it a 3.75 while explaining exactly how you should run over a sea hag with your car. Ratings are preliminary and contingent on how they stick the landing. We'll be back.

Friday the 13th Parts III & VIII — Birth of a Legend, End of an Era

Slasher Season is back, and we're going all the way in on the greatest horror franchise of all time — no, Joel, you don't get a say in that. Jesse pairs Friday the 13th Part III and Jason Takes Manhattan as the alpha and omega of the franchise: the movie that gave Jason his hockey mask, and the movie that sent him packing to the Big Apple. Jeannie watched both for the first time and would like her life back. Sled considers eight the last real Friday the 13th. Joel pulled out a map of New Jersey trying to figure out the geography. And Jesse has been freestyling over that disco opening since COVID. Hockey masks, heroin injections, biker gangs, Franklin Awards, and the hotly debated Mount Rushmore of horror — all that and a body count you have to respect.

Did You Know Oliver Stone Made a Horror Movie?

This week on Prime Cuts, the crew watches a forgotten slice of early Oliver Stone — The Hand (1981), starring a very committed Michael Caine as a comic strip artist who loses his hand in a car accident and slowly loses everything else. His marriage, his sanity, and apparently several people in his vicinity.
Jesse, Jeannie, Joel, and a special guest who definitely watched Conan the Barbarian instead break down the film's double-swerve ending, hand-POV cinematography, the very real question of whether Oliver Stone cast himself as a bum with a missing hand, and whether Michael Caine has ever actually seen any of his own movies.
Body horror, messy divorces, and at least one prosthetic hand squeezing raw hamburger meat. You know, a chill one.

Siege Horror, Satan in a Jar, and Reshoots: Prince of Darkness with guest, ActorThom Bray

This week we're chopping up the second entry in Carpenter's Apocalypse Trilogy — and we brought backup. Actor Thom Bray joins us to talk about landing the most memorable kill in the film, what it was actually like to get impaled by a bicycle with Alice Cooper, and why Carpenter told him to dial it back on the blood. We also get into the theology, the theoretical physics, the goo, and whether Prince of Darkness deserves a higher spot in the Carpenter canon than it gets. Spoiler: it might.

Jesse's 70s Art House Obsession Strikes Again: Let's Scare Jessica to Death

What does it look like to live deliciously on the wrong side of sanity? Jesse brings the crew to 1971 Connecticut for John D. Hancock's haunting folk horror gem. Part psychological thriller, part vampire mythology, part counterculture eulogy — Let's Scare Jessica to Death is the kind of movie that asks you to do the work, and rewards you for it. The CIU crew unpacks Charon and the underworld, the Baudelaire connection, polyamory among the hippies, and why the inner monologue shouldn't work but somehow does. Ratings are divided. Joel wants to live in the farmhouse. Sledd was a little sleepy.

He Just Moved Boroughs: Blacula and Vampire in Brooklyn

We recorded this one back in February to close out Sled dSeason, and we've been sitting on it — but good things are worth the wait. A Black History Month double feature that earns its place: both films follow the same blueprint — a Black vampire dropped into a modern urban landscape, chasing a reincarnated love and dragging a Renfield-type ghoul behind him. The parallels are undeniable.
Blacula is historically significant and cinematically rough. William Marshall is genuinely commanding, but the ADR is a disaster and the pacing will test you. Vampire in Brooklyn has the cast (Murphy, Bassett, Hardison, Witherspoon at peak Witherspoon) and still squanders it — a Wes Craven-directed Coming to America with fangs and no teeth.
The real conversation goes deeper: blaxploitation's double-edged legacy, what Blacula actually got right, and how Vampire in Brooklyn ends up undermining everything it seemed to stand for. Plus a hook hand nobody else saw and a very compelling shared cinematic universe theory.

Blair Witch Put Germantown on the Map, Babies: Blair Witch Project and Hell House

In this episode of Chopping It Up, the crew dives into the origins of found footage horror with The Blair Witch Project and Hell House LLC—and this one hits especially close to home. Literally. Jesse, Joel, and Jeannie all grew up in the Maryland area where Blair Witch was filmed, adding a personal layer to the conversation as they reflect on seeing the film during its original release and the very real confusion around whether it was… actually real.
From there, the crew breaks down the genius of Blair Witch’s marketing, its use of unknown actors and “missing footage” storytelling, and how it completely changed the horror landscape. They compare that foundation to Hell House LLC, exploring how it builds on the same techniques—found footage, folklore, and realism—while carving out its own modern identity. Along the way, they dig into film influences, the limits of the subgenre, and why these stripped-down approaches to horror can be so effective.
It’s part nostalgia, part film analysis, and part “we were there for this moment,” with the usual mix of insight, humor, and CIU chaos.

The Investors Spent the Budget on Their Roofs: Messiah of Evil (with Final Girls)

The Chopping It Up crew teams up once again with Kellie and Sarah from The Final Girls to dig into the dreamy, unsettling cult oddity Messiah of Evil (1973). What starts as a missing-father mystery in a creepy coastal town quickly turns into a discussion about art-house horror, eerie atmosphere, and some truly unforgettable scenes (looking at you, supermarket). Along the way we debate whether this cult classic is a hidden masterpiece or a beautifully weird movie that doesn’t quite stick the landing—before handing out our cleaver ratings.

Puss in Boots Gave Rimmick His Eyes: Sinners

In this Prime Cuts episode, we sink our teeth into Ryan Coogler’s Sinners (2025) — a Southern gothic vampire tale set in 1932 Mississippi. When twin brothers return home to open a juke joint, the night spirals into bloodshed, forcing us to ask: is this elevated horror with bite, or a beautiful mess?
We debate the film’s themes of race, religion, and cultural theft, argue about its pacing and vampire lore, and wrestle with whether the story needed more room to breathe. It’s stylish, ambitious, and definitely divisive.
Come for the blood. Stay for the argument.

The Throuple Made Them Do It: Heart Eyes

This week on Prime Cuts, we’re talking Heart Eyes (2025) — a Valentine’s Day slasher that mixes rom-com charm with masked-killer chaos. When the “Heart Eyes Killer” targets couples in Seattle, marketing exec Ally and her suspiciously charming coworker Jay find themselves fighting for their lives… and maybe catching feelings along the way.
It’s self-aware, fast-paced, and packed with holiday-themed carnage. Does it reinvent the genre? No. Is it a fun seasonal watch? Absolutely.